Hackers and Penises

hot docs!!!!

Last night was a perfect specimen (more about those in a minute) of a fabulous night at hot docs. Putting the movies aside for a minute, the theatres were packed, the audiences were excited and the q and a's were interesting and fun for all. It was also my first movie at the new Bloor cinema. Aside from the screen being off-puttingly high (is that new? I can't remember), the seats were luxuriously comfortable.

The Bloor was the setting for my first screening of the evening - We Are Legion: The Story of the Hacktivists. This movie, about Anonymous, was the story of the online hacking network behind the attacks on Scientology and various other unsavory governmental organizations and businesses (like Paypal! and Mastercard!). It was an interesting look into what I previously thought was a secret world, but now know identifies as open and inclusive. I can't wait to leap on to 4chan and join in all the fun! The screening would have been even better if the man two seats over from me did not have the most severe case of halitosis I've ever smelled. During the q & a, there was an appearance by an "Anon" in his signature Guy Fawkes mask. He didn't speak but he emplyed many thumbs ups and mime-like poses. It was one of the first q & a's I saw at the festival this year where a subject was in attendance. Everybody loved the movie-I know because the applause-o-meter was off the charts!

After that, we were off the the Royal to see a couple movies about penises, with a quick stop for some Fresh Slices across the road. The screening was for The Final Member with a short film in front called Manhood - my favorite combo of the festival so far, for several reasons, which I will now enumerate.

1. I got popcorn. I like popcorn.
2. All of the filmmakers were from Toronto, so the theatre was packed with excited friends and family.
3. The movies were hilarious.
4. Penis.
Manhood was a very short film made by some students from Humber. It was a fine example of a movie with very little artistic or technical merit, but with a fabulous story, and tight editting (it clocked in at 5 minutes). It was a first person account of a young man who broke his penis during a particularly ambitious sex romp while on vacation with his new girlfriend in Jamaica. Laughter ensues.

The Last Member was one of the better movies I've ever seen at hot docs. It was one of those documentaries where you couldn't have written better characters. You gotta get a load of this man from California who has nicknamed his penis "Elmo" and is so enamoured with his member that he wants to cut it off, while he's alive, and display it in the world's only penis museum in Iceland. Another fun fact: according to well established folklore, the "legal size" for a penis in Iceland is 5 inches. 

Those two are screening again, try to see them if you can.

Bum Rash

Don't wear cheap jeans and thong underwear if you're planning on sitting on your bum all day. Nuff said.

About Face was better than I expected. If you like fashion photography, you'll love this one. Hear from models who have been photographed by Helmut Newton and "Dick" Avadon. If you don't fall in love with Pat Cleaveland than Dr's not my first name.

The Job was ok.

Over My Dead Body was interesting and beautiful at times but a little too contrived in terms of graphical flourishes and whatnot. Yes, that is the technical term.

Her Master's Voice was about ventriloquists and their dummies. Scary stuff. But we got a little private show by Nina Conti and monkey during the q & a. I think she's famous because I've seen her on tv so that's pretty neat.

This Train

I saw the first 5 star flick of the festival tonight - so good that it motivated me to resurrect the blog. It might be a bit more sparse than usual this year, on account of me having a lot of other stuff going on during the festival, but if you can tolerate my brevity then here we go...

Big Easy Express. Go see. GO SEE IT NOW. Or whenever it's playing next.

Big Easy Express is essentially a tour video about 3 alt/country/folk bands touring the American south/west by train and playing shows every night beside their parked train. Having just returned from a road trip that took me through parts of Arizona and New Mexico, I tingled with nostalgia throughout the 61 minute film, but even if you didn't just return from your own personal desert adventure, the sight of Mumford and Sons paying their majestic song The Cave backed by an Austin high school marching band will surely make your fuzzy hairs stand on end too. To be honest, every moment of the movie made my hair stand on end. If you like trains, deserts and banjos, please see this movie.

Last night I saw The Outing, which profiled a young gay pedophile in Germany or Austria or somewhere around there where they have all those pedophiles. You know when you go see a doc about dance and there's lots of dancers in the audience, or when you see a movie about hockey and there's lots of hockey fans in the audience? Yeah.

I also so Off Label today but it wasn't very good so I don't feel like writing about it. I feel like eating a frozen pizza and going to bed.

So this is what you're going to get this year!