Date Night at the Docs?

I sure know how to woo the men. Last night I took Shawn to see El Sicario: Room 164, a movie about Mexican torture techniques (never beat the body while they're alive, it makes too much of a mess), then I took Jordan to see Empire North, an abstract experimental docu-fiction about some Danish guy who invented a sniper rifle to show at a weapons fair in Qatar. The entire film appeared to be filmed on a cell phone camera from the early 2000's, and featured intermittent shots of the main character having violent sex with his girlfriend, played by Honey Holman, Jack Nicholson's daughter. In fairness to Jordan, this was the first movie I've ever taken him to that he did not walk out on, but it was only 58 minutes.

On my way between the Cumberland and the Lightbox, the key for my bike lock exited my back pocket (I can't figure out why, most inanimate objects love to be nestled near my bum cheeks). So instead of locking my bike outside the theatre, I leaned it up against the bike stand and pretended to lock it (two months of Second City improvisation classes really came in handy). Lo and behold, not a soul wanted my $40 bike that I got off Craiglist.Or maybe they took it for a test ride and then returned it. If you think I'm joking then you've never ridden my bike.

So I'll be walking to the Royal tonight for Hot Coffee at 7:00. Can't wait for my Bixi tag to show up in the mail!